It’s weird. Despite how I should be feeling: which is stressed, overwhelmed, and panicked for exams, I have never been so blissfully free and happy in my life before. I am finally away from a home where I have always felt depressed and mocked in. I remember coming home every single day as late as I possibly could because the second I would turn the key and open that door something haunting and sad enveloped me every single time I stepped into that house. Two days ago I finally had enough courage to turn the key, open the door, and have the courage to face my father and mother and say that I was leaving. The night before I left I was in the scariest phase of my entire life, everything started to overcome me and I really did not think I would have been able to make it another day. But those closest to me who knew this was happening… I just want to say thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me, thank you for all your kind words and thank you for lending me your strength because for once in my life, I had absolutely none left.
And yes, I moved in. The storm is finally over.
After eighteen years, I am finally getting out. Although not willingly, it isn’t reluctantly either. I have really amazing friends for supporting me and doing all that they can to help me through this phase, I also have the most amazing boyfriend. I don’t know what I would do right now without his support. Let’s hope I escape unscathed. This is now officially the hardest patch in my life. I’ll be back soon.
Here’s a little bit of an update:
I recently acquired the position of MVSA president at Mac (totally freaked out because I’ve only been at Mac and MVSA for a year). The boyfriend landed his new job and we went out to celebrate our accomplishments the other night.
I was piss drunk last night (a good drunk, not one of those sad-cry-alone ones) and was stupid enough to wear five-inchers to the party beforehand. He carried me all the way home on his back while we talked and laughed and reminisced about silly moments while I was starting to sober up.
Yes, I am totally living a fairy tale - with the exception that this one is real And… my knight carries my drunk ass home on his back while I don’t lose any of my heels.
That is all :) Have a good night everyone !
p.s. first year of university is finally almost over (and I will say to that, thank God…)
All my life I’ve always loved celebrating the accomplishments of the people I love or at least doing something out of my way to show and tell them that I’m really proud of them. And then I stepped back today and thought really hard. Who’s celebrated any of mine?
There are so many days of my life where I really wouldn’t know what I would have done without you. All the days I get confused and scared of everything, to the days where I suck at being strong, you’re still there. And you always tell me that I’m the strongest person you know and you always tell me how proud of me you are and you always tell me that you’re going to be there. And you have been there for me through absolutely everything and you have held my hand through everything and when I say everything I really mean everything. From the very very worst and scary situations to the absolute best and most rewarding ones. I am so thankful for it all. And I hope you always know how thankful I am for it. Because everything that has happened between us… all I can say is that I would never have wanted it to happen with anyone else - the good and the bad and all the upsetting times where we’ve both been affected. It just wouldn’t be right if it was ever with anyone else. Thank you a thousand times over and forever.
There are too many things in this world I wish I could do, that I wish I could be a part of, that I wish I could experience. It’s never ending really, just when you think you’ve experienced so much more comes your way. And all of this, as exciting as it all can be, can make you sad because you’ll know at the same time that you won’t get to experience every moment that you wish to.
I apologize to all my wonderful followers for being inactive - especially in my ask box. I’ve been so extremely overwhelmed with life and university, but rest assured all the emails and messages you have sent I will get back to all of them today. I am dedicating this to all of you :) Thank you for still sticking with me.
you and your bf are so cute! how long have you been together? c:
Sorry for the inactiveness, but a little under a year ! Thank you very much !
John Green, The Fault In Our Stars (via 4mbivalent)